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| Jokes And Funny short Stories About Sports |
| 09 February 2010 |
Ransom Demand
A Yuppie received a ransom note stating that if he ever hoped to see his wife alive again, he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 the next morning.
The next day, he didn't arrive until almost 12:30. Jumping out from behind some bushes, a masked man yelled at him, "What took you so long? You're over two hours late."
"Give me a break, would you!" whined the Yuppie. "I do have a 27 handicap!" | | 08 February 2010 |
Cow Tail
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend.
After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened.
He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his.
A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow´s tail and asked, «Does this look like yours?»
That was the last thing he could remember. | | 07 February 2010 |
President watching the Yankees
The President and his wife are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents.
One of the Secret Service Agent leans over and whispers something into the President's ear.
As soon as he finishes, Mr. President grabs his wife by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities.
The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers, "Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!" | | 06 February 2010 |
Deer Hunting
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added. | | 05 February 2010 |
The Dysfunctional Bears
Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand to testify and is asked by the judge, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies, "he beats me."
Then the judge asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies, "she beats me too."
So the Judge says, "Who do you want to live with then?"
Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they don't beat anybody." |
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